SiL: The Boy All the Bad Girls Want

Have you ever looked back on the people you went to school with and wondered what they are doing or how their lives turned out? Have you ever thought about the playground heart-throbs and wondered what it would have been like to have been one of their romances?

I have been bumbling again recently, with no real aim in mind but more to just see what the market is like at the moment, and happened upon someone from school. Actually I happen upon loads of the boys from my year on here, but I wasn’t expecting to see this person on there. You know those people a couple of years above you that all the people in your year fancy but somehow you don’t? Well here he is, right here on my screen. He looks the same, and I didn’t really fancy him before so should I match or not? I mean, I did have a boyfriend through school, so I wasn’t really looking at anyone else at the time. A quick message to a couple of school friends asking their opinion tells me yes, yes I should swipe right and see what happens.

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We match!

So now for the test- does he actually know who I am? I send him a message saying “Oh hello Jason Michaels how are things?” I’ve got nothing to lose. And to my surprise he responds immediately with “Kat Jenkins*, things are great how have you been since school?” So he does know who I am. This could be fun. As if the boy, 2 years above, who all the popular girls wanted in my year at school not only knows me but matched with me! Yeah, this feels good.

Jason and I chat for a while before he gives me his number and tells me to watsapp him instead. We continue to chat and he tells me he is going off on holiday soon for 3 weeks, he hasn’t had much luck with dating (girls lose interest after a couple of weeks), and he just wants to meet someone who he can do fun couply things in London with. He tries being a bit cheeky with me saying things like “Why do I get the feeling you’re trouble.” This is nice I like this.

The next day he texts me whilst I am at work. Just general chit chat to begin with but before long he has turned the switch up on the cheeky factor and is ‘imagining me driving the men in his office wild’. Flattering, but I should have seen this as an early warning.  Yes my friends, this is not a tale with a happy ending – not for me anyway.

The next few days results in a couple of steamy sexting sessions. This is totally new to me, my ex never liked anything like this – he didn’t trust it – but clearly Jason is a pro. My hesitation in responding (whilst I am trying to think of something sassy and sexy, and writhing around in excitement that someone is saying these kinds of things to me) tells him that I am either inexperienced or uncomfortable with how far he has gone and he is respectful of that and apologises. But what is to come tells me why women lose interest after those vital 2 weeks.

do-the-creepEvery day until he goes on holiday, every day, he wants to know what I am wearing. What knickers am I wearing. Have I dropped something I need to bend over an pick up. Every. Day. At one point (before this got horrendously tedious) I asked him out for a drink. I figured he would know that if he wanted any of this to become a reality he would actually have to meet with me in person, buy me a drink, see if the chat in real life is there. No. He skirts around and goes back to the same old broken record.

What is it like to date the guy all the girls wanted at school. Well I wouldn’t know, because you can’t date him, you can only be his fantasy and material for his personal time. Still, it would have been sweet to have that tick on the list.

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*This is not my real surname by the way, I do enjoy some anonymity

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Must-see-Movie: Blair Witch

The Blair Witch 2016 sequel was one of the best kept media secrets to be revealed this year, so you can imagine the excitement this caused horror nerds. Me included.

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Tonight I decided to go and see it. The first film I thought was creative and classic, although I didn’t find it scary. More spellbinding. The premise of the follow up fascinated me. Heather, The Blair Witch Project protagonist, went missing and nothing was ever found of any of the victims of the Witch that night but her little brother James has reason to believe he can find her. Or at least find out the truth. Who doesn’t love a good Round 2?

The movie itself wasn’t frightening to me, but more eerie. Much like the first I was again spellbound and glued to what was happening in the documentary style recordings James and his friends were making. The writers, producers and directors stayed true to the format of the now franchise and I left the theatre feeling hugely satisfied at the way it was made and the story told throughout, right down to the last shot on screen. Some have argued that there is too much predictability in the plotline but I would say that’s not necessarily true and if it was predictable in places it draws on the familiarity of original. The only thing I would possibly have changed are the special effects when the film starts to reach its climax, but I’ll say no more on that.

If you’re a horror buff don’t miss out – as if you would anyway! But definitely see this in the cinema, I wouldn’t wait for it to come out on disk.

‘Jumanji’: New Details Reveal Video Game Theme — DPNews

The movie, led by Kevin Hart and Dwayne Johnson, in the jungle, which spurred a few questions about Doctor Who breakout Karen Gillan‘s outfit in the movie. Well, some of those questions should be answered by the revelations about the movie that have come to light. Younger cast members have been added to the cast – Alex […]

via ‘Jumanji’: New Details Reveal Video Game Theme — DPNews

SiL: Birthdays and Bad Choices

It was my birthday last Saturday and I went out for my first experience of Infernos in Clapham. Having dressed up to who off, and look like the birthday princess I was, having fun with my friends and flirting with boys was on the top of my agenda. infernos(Please note that I was NOT dressing to attract men, but dressing to feel good in myself and remember this birthday night when I am older and can’t get away with dresses like this anymore – flirting with boys is just a fun bonus).

After some drinks on Clapham Common a close group of friends and I moved onto Infernos for some cocktails and dancing. I love going out dancing with my friends, it is a time in my day where I can let loose, feel confident and feel sexy knowing that I am on girl’s night and no I don’t want to dance with you all night. That doesn’t mean we can’t have banter with a group interesting people. It was 10 minutes before a group of army lads on a night out were invading our dance floor in their fancy dress. A quick boogie with Freddie Mercury, Lady Gaga and Bill and Ben later and the freddienight is already turning out to be ace.

After a snog with a guy who turned out to be a bit of an asshole (and not a great kisser) my friends were telling me to let loose on my birthday and not worry about night out girl-codes. So when the end of the night came along, my friends had all but 2 gone home and a handsome guy smiled at me across the room I thought “why the hell not?”. Hello Patrick. A quick – and great – kiss later and I’ve asked if he wants to leave. I don’t know what it was but my confidence levels have gone through the roof at this point and I am ignoring the stereotype of Clapham boys being total jerks. There is something to be said for cocky young professionals right out of Uni living in a nice part of London.

Getting to know each other in the short uber back to his place I learn that Patrick likes to read, is snobby about the books other people read, loves going to gigs, works in the public sector and may have a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder. We get into his kitchen and are all over each other, and after some stripping down I move us into the bedroom. After some hit and miss foreplay we go for it, but something’s not quite right. After years of uncomfortable sex I have only recently started to build up the confidence to say no when it’s not working. This is not something I do: going home with a complete stranger, and this is my body’s way of saying “Kat this is not something we do so don’t do it.” I ask him to stop and say that I’ll finish him off with my hands. At this point he is more concerned with whether ‘it counts’ and gets a bit shirty with me. It counts – not that that matters, how old are we? He apologies, takes what he can get (clever boy) and nips to the bathroom.

Now I am not hugely practiced in one night stands, but from previous experience if I have had a guy back at mine I’ve wanted him to leave not long after if things haven’t matched my expectations or we have no personal connection. So I take this as my cue to get dressed. Now here is the weird part. Patrick walks in and looks at me sadly whilst I am putting my shoes back on asking what I am doing. He wanted me to stay. After behaving like that, he wanted me to not only stay but stay ‘for cuddles’. I mean its 3 am, I don’t mind staying rather than trying to navigate my way home from… where am I again? So I start to undress and ask him for a t-shirt and boxers to sleep in, which he obliges in and spends time choosing one that looks good (I try on about 4 different shirts).

Then he makes a comment about my body hair. “Did I see the slightest bit of stubble under your arms?”. Er no, no you did not and I’ll prove it to you. Then he wants to show me how hair-free he is, treating it like an accomplishment. Sorry mate but can we just skip to the end here now? But oh, what’s this? His phone starts to ring and he takes the call in the next room. It goes a little something like this:

“Ben mate, how was your night?…yeah good good…No way are you with Luke, I haven’t seen him in ages…Naa not busy, got some chick here but I can ditch her…half an hour right?…Sweet bro we can play Fifa…see you soon.”

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I’m sorry, mate, but are you fucking kidding me right now? I gave you an out, and you wanted cuddles but now Luke is here you’d rather get dressed and go out to play Fifa at 3.30 in the morning? So to save myself the trouble I get dressed very quickly, and not being able to locate one of my socks go on the hunt. Patrick is confused when he re-enters asking why I’ve gotten dressed and saying he thought I was staying. No, mate, I am not staying because your walls are thin and you’re a tool. I tell him he can keep the socks, put my shoes on and gather my bag. He wants to ‘at least’ walk me out to which I say fine but it’s really not necessary.

A dead phone, no uber, and 3 night buses later I am home in bed where I should have been 2 hours ago. What was that?! And in the morning receive a text saying:

“Hey Kat, sorry about last night. I hope you had a good birthday and would really like to return your socks to you at some point soon X”

Why don’t you give them to Luke my friend.

Must-see-Movie: The Purge: Election Year

If you read my blog regularly then you may have picked up on my enjoyment of horror movies, and even that I have been waiting for The Purge: Election Year to come out for a while.

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The third instalment in the Purge franchise teased us with the idea that this could be the last of a 3 part series. Being a big fan of the previous two I couldn’t wait to sink my teeth into this one. The concept itself, that all crime becomes legal in America for a period of 12 hours every year to reduce year-round crime, is absolutely fascinating. Many a times have I been in debates with friends over the reality of such a situation in the future.

The film is introducing the idea that whilst some people live for the Purge, others are fighting actively to stop it from continuing as one Senator bases her whole campaign around stopping it from continuing. You can imagine what the Purge supporters want to do with her on Purge night. It seems to me that the imaginations of the writers gets more demented with each film as the characters become more ruthless and despicable. We are looking at a whole generation of Americans brought up purging – in a world where they know no difference the night is not even questioned but a playground for miscreants.

I enjoyed watching this film a lot, even though my face was displaying a state of anger and hatred throughout. It did its job and as a Purge fan I feel it did it well. However, I am not convinced that any new comers to the franchise would think much. Much like anything though, don’t read the last chapter before learning the story.

Don’t miss this gem.

 

Suicide Squad: Was it worth the hype?

With Halloween fast approaching, I would put my money on Suicide Squad characters being the most popular costume choice this year (followed by Stranger Things). harley-quinnEspecially Harley Quinn – such an obvious choice for women this year. But what I want to know is did people really think the movie was as good as the hype it is receiving or is it just the excitement still driving its popularity?

There was so much excitement in the lead up to the movie; the PR and Marketing teams did a great job, there is no denying that but from speaking to friends I was not the only one it seems who felt a little disappointed with what was on the screen. Having said that, it was not the production, not the costume, or even the special effects I had issues with.

When the trailers and promos came out I was dubious about Will Smith playing Deadshot, excited for Jared Leto’s Joker and buzzed by the soundtrack. Little did I know that I would be leaving the cinema still buzzed by the soundtrack (it’s on multiple playlists on my Ipod now), feeling disappointed by Leto and hugely impressed by Smith. In fact, I would say that aside from Margot Robbie’s obviously sexy and bad-ass portrayal of Harley Quinn (bring on the confirmed solo movie), Will deadshotSmith actually stole the show. I’ve seen him do comedy, I’ve seen him do drama, but I wasn’t expecting such a great performance in this role.

But what of Leto? For me he just wasn’t and quite possibly never will be the Joker. Is it his fault? I’m not sure. During the build up to the release of the film Leto revealed in multiple interviews that he threw himself into the role, listing off various ‘presents’ he sent to his cast-mates. He said he practised his laugh over and over to get it right. Perhaps my expectations were too high, but it just wasn’t right for me. He also has a minor part the film, so why so much media attention compared to the people in the actual squad?

One more problem I had with the film is unfortunately Ben Affleck. He won’t ever be Batman to me, and I feel this was a bad choice in casting, although I appreciate this was made long before the Suicide Squad film. He will never be Batman in my eyes – that will always be Bale.

I’d be interested to see if anyone else felt the same way as me about the performances.

So is it worth the hype? For the most part yes but it is not looking to me like the film of the year.

Barbu or not Barbu – there is No question

With 5 days left to see the breath-taking cabaret show Barbu at London’s Wonderground you’d be a fool not to buy tickets now.

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A girlfriend and I were recommended the show and so we booked in to go last week. It was one of the most fun shows I have seen in a long time. Marketed as Daring, Daft and Sexy as Hell they were not wrong.

Consisting of Canada’s Cirque Alfonse this cabaret is like no other you’ve seen. With clothes shed and groomed beards the performances of these acrobats are insane. The show is varied and each performance is complimented with great music, humour and a video-graphic to match. Did I mention that I’d now like to run away with the circus?

Be prepared to Laugh. Be prepared to be shocked. barbu-1Be prepared for Barbu.