In my attempt to look like I was someone worth re-visiting, or in a more romantic spin, worth taking a chance on, I find myself in a pub in Whitehall Friday night nursing a glass of red. After carefully choosing an outfit that looked like I had come from work looking smart sexy, and then chucking it out for a simple A line with a T and boots I am nervous. My friends, Caz and Mona, are telling me to relax; it’ll all be fine. To relax because there is a distinct possibility that Biggs will be there. Caz’s boyfriend has just been promoted to his office and there is a casual mixer happening. One, subtle and quick sweep of the room tells me that he is not here. Is this a good thing? I think so. I deserve better right? Perhaps one of the three guys at the table over the room can show me a better time? One of them is hot. He reminds me a little of my first boyfriend, mousey features, skinny jeans, an air of shyness with a twinge of danger in his eyes. There is something about a guy that might be an asshole. I wanted to find out more.
So how do you go about building up the confidence to approach a table of lads on a night out, when you were already quite nervous about that night, and appear desirable without gate-crashing? The answer surely is drink? That and some encouragement from friends who are trying to match you up. I should mention now, if I haven’t already, that Caz is in a long term relationship. She has been with Nick for a year and a half now, but was a serial dater before then. There were so many Tinder ups and downs, it took a long time to get here. Mona has been dating and seeing people on and off for a number of years and is a total pro at this, so eludes confidence when discussing dates. So naturally I was being pushed into going over. But I wasn’t ready. I don’t know how to do this. I’ve never done this before.
In secondary school I asked one boy out. Aaron. He was one of the popular boys, tall, athletic, good looking. I was just a normal; I didn’t really belong to any stereotypical group. Not the popular ones, not the geeks, not the freaks, not the surfers, just us girls. So you can imagine how my bold move went down. I was rejected, took it like a champ and avoided him for as long as I could. A week later I tripped on the staircase and fell over right in front of him, and thought “it can’t get worse” so picked myself up (literally) and moved forward with my life. (Consequently his was the first penis I ended up touching, but that’s a small insignificant story for another time)
Anyway, back to the pub. Four glasses of red down, and I am saved in an unexpected way. One of the boys from that table has come to us! Simon the saviour. In an attempt to try chat us up, he has consequently opened the door for me to approach his friend. I bide my time, chat politely, and move us over to the table. Surprise surprise Caz and Mona choose not to follow, so it is just me and them. Even more surprising, it goes very well. We chat indie rock music (they try to pretend they are the band ‘The Ordinary Boys’ – I’m not buying it), sport, have things in common (they are from where I grew up in my early years, support the same football team, play the same musical instruments as me, like the same music etc.) and time is flowing. There’s talk of what to do next, the pub is going to close before long. Personally I am still trying to remember the hot one’s name. Jon. It is decided that we could go to a casino, and before I know it Caz and Mona have appeared with my coat and are telling me to have fun and be safe. I must have signalled them? Or they were monitoring this closely. Either way I am feeling amazing. Spontaneity is not my strongest suit so I am on a cloud right now. We start walking towards the casino, and Simon and Chris (the other one- who is not single but tells me that his friends are) walk on ahead and I am left with my target for the night. This is really working out! I take my chance; tell him that I think he is good looking and if he would like to see me again I’d like to take his number. He says he would and puts it in my phone. For some reason it is now that I decide to save him under my phone as Walkers. Has my love for crisps shone through? Who cares, I got the number!
As it happens, Simon decides he doesn’t want to come so says goodbye and leaves. We go in, have a good time. Drinks are flowing, money is being gambled, and more importantly money is being won! I feel awesome! Walkers is encouraging me, keeping me involved and repeating my name in his dialogue to me. I feel he is engaging, interested and in my drunken state enjoy the accidental brushing of limbs when gestures of excitement are made at the dinging of a winning machine. I have been to the toilet, checked the mirror (not looking great- but nothing that’s not fixable) this is so promising, and in the early hours we call it a day. Chris leaves us, and Walkers walks me to my bus stop. We are chatting and when my bus comes I say goodbye and that I had fun.
Now here’s the part I don’t get, and if this has happened to you too you’ll understand my frustration. I wait until the afternoon the next day to send a message (not wanting to be too keen, but not wanting to wait too long that he forgets me). “Hey, it was nice to meet you last night, I had fun! Are you looking forward to the match today?” Charlton are playing Blackburn. 2 days later and he hasn’t read it. He’s been online, but either ignored or deleted my message. Why would you take my number if you weren’t interested? This is the thing I don’t understand about the situation. If someone had asked me for my number and I didn’t want to give it I just wouldn’t. I would make up an excuse and politely decline. So what the hell is happening here? Maybe alcohol is not my friend in this situation. Could it be that the alcohol prompted his decision to acquiesce or was he just too shy to say no?
I don’t understand men. Still, I had a great night; one that I won’t be forgetting for a long time. And who knows, maybe I’ll be more courageous next time!